F16’s Don’t Kill People, 500 Lb. Bombs Kill People

Oh wait, sorry. That should read "Huge hole found in Eridanus. My mistake. Still, a very cool discovery of a gigantic hole in space.

Mandarin Orange Cake.

The Nebraska State Fair begins this weekend. I don’t expect I’ll be going (walking around state fair park in pouring rain-what fun) but it does make me think I ought to deep-fry something innovative, you know as a sort of homage.

My husband once battered and fried a piece of left-over pizza when we lived in Boston (Raymofo might remember that) and he claims it was delicious. I was wise enough to decline the offer of a taste. I know the British deep fry candy bars, but that doesn’t do much for me. We have a popular sandwich around here called a "Frenchie." It is a deep-fried grilled cheese sandwich. I’m not sure what’s so French about it (the use American cheese) but at least it survived without being re-named a "Freedom Sandwich" when we were all about hating the French.

This is almost embarrasing to admit, but I’ve never made a single doughnut. In fact, I’ve probably eaten ten or fifteen doughnuts in my entire life. I know, you’re right, it is sort of a failing, or at the very least, reflects a serious character flaw. You really ought to be suspicious of people that cannot appreciate deep fried dough.

The very worst deep-fried thing I’ve eaten was a dill pickle. Given that I loathe cucumbers in just about every form, I wasn’t too terribly impressed, but had to eat it to be polite.

You may chime-in with your "Celebrate State Fair Week" fried food suggestions in the comments.

-before I read THIS.

How’s that for a vomit-inducing thought on an early Friday morning? I suppose the up-side (if there is one) of old Bob "Search and Destroy" Kerrey coming back to Nebraska to run for the senate is that the New School might have a chance to regain some of its former reputation. Something about having a school founded by pacifists being run by a guy who in any sane society would be called a war criminal sort of undermines the nonviolence message.

He’d probably win too.

I’m going back to bed. After I throw-up.

Holy crap! People who aren’t depressed are (gasp) being wrongly diagnossed and treated for depression. Holy lucrative billable treatment Batman!

Holy shit again! Young white people are happier than young minorities (I guess all that institutionalised racism, fear of being murdered, or incarcerated tends to drive down one’s happiness).

I’m a white, middle-class, elitist religious nut…and I read! Psst, promise you won’t tell? I only read the Classic Comics.

I was making dinner and listening to NPR’s All Things Considered when I caught the end of a report on the Pentagon’s TALON programme. You know, that’s the database where they keep files on people they consider risks to the military such as Catholic Workers, and anti-war grannies. Actually, I’d think that would be a compliment, you know, that the Pentagon considers nonviolent resistance a threat, but some people get all unhinged by the idea of the good old War Department keeping tabs on them.

The report mentioned that the boys and girls over at the charnel house have decided that keeping tabs on protesters exercising what’s left of their Constitutional rights isn’t a productive use of time so they’re getting rid of it, though they insist it is not due to pressure from the public. In itself, that would have been laughable enough, but they had some hack on to explain that the FBI would be taking it over because (Again, I couldn’t possibly make this up) the FBI has systems in place to ensure only real threats (emphasis mine) end up in a database to be monitored.

I’m glad they cleared that up.

I’d be lying if I claimed not to be worried. You’d have to be an utter moron to look around and not feel poised on the brink. I can be reduced to tears these days hearing "Eve of Destruction" on the radio.

Still, I try to avoid sounding too doom focused as there doesn’t seem to be much to gain from the exercise. If I ever began posting all the concerns that run through my head in the course of a day I’d probably scare off the handful of readers I’ve managed to maintain over the years. I don’t have any keen insights anyway-they’re the same as anyone else that’s been paying even the slightest attention.

I bring this up because a writer I like (and no, I’m not going to provide links) recently posted a missive that could only logically (and narratively) end with;

"Soylent Green is People!"

I’m not scolding the paranoia, believe me, I’m not. Unless it is somehow cathartic though, all that predicting how awful this that and the next thing will undoubtedly be, well it seems a little, pointless. We all know (whether we care to acknowledge it or not) where this is heading-Orwell’s vision of a boot stomping on a human face forever, etc.

You see, I’m utterly resigned. No really, I am. I accept my complicity in the worldwide bloody mess. I also accept that it is long past the time for being able to do a single thing about it. You know, back to Orwell’s stomping boot and all.

I tend to look at things from an evolutionary perspective and, from that view I’ve already done what I’m here for; living to the age of reproduction and producing a fertile offspring. That’s it. In scientific terms, I’m done.

It really does not matter who wins this or that election, or which super-power is reigning, as evolution does not care. Stripped of nationality, economic systems, religion, we’re the same sets of chromosomes working towards the same goal of reproduction. If some fool with his finger on the big red button gets us all killed tomorrow, it isn’t going to matter which fool did it, the result is the same. If our genus makes it a few more centuries it isn’t going to matter whether they were speaking Spanish, English or Urdu. Stripped of culture, we’re all equally unimportant organisms. Change one little thing and we either adapt or die. Biology is awfully slow compared to culture. As one of my favourite professors once observed; "Your genes aren’t altruistic."

Perhaps this is just a very long-winded attempt at saying that although I am horrified by what I’m witnessing, I’m not going to spend every waking moment…. what’s the word…reveling in it. I realise that sounds awful to say, though I think to a certain degree that is what we do with these blogs. There’s "documenting the atrocities" and then there’s rushing off each post like counting coups, or trophy heads. What’s my prize for being right and taking notice? Bragging rights? Biology doesn’t care about bragging rights. Yeah, I was right, so what? Thousands of posts later there’s still blood on my hands.

Burberry’s has started selling fetishwear. Sort of. In a middle-class sort of way, but still.

Making this sort of look mainstream certainly takes the naughtiness out of it, don’t you think? The down-side (after purple lip-gloss, because really, purple lip gloss would have to be about as much of a downside of just about anything as one can imagine) is that we’ll soon be seeing knock-off versions being offered at Target with tiny versions for the children. Trampy kids clothes, who could have imagined?

Actually, that is already happening. I recall a few years ago when I was expecting, seeing a young girl, eight or nine walking about the store with her mum wearing leather pants and some sort of animal print jacket. As I remember it, my husband muttered something to the effect of “Thank God we’re having a boy.” Recently, I was shopping for some clothing for friends in Boston that just had a baby and even the infant clothing was questionable.

What might possibly be even worse than trampy children (and purple lip gloss) is the potential for women my age wearing these items. I suppose my latex allergy saves me from even considering “latex body armour” but really, I just know this is going to show up on middle-aged women in Omaha. What are the fetishists going to wear to differentiate them from the wanna-be’s? Expect a rush on floral dresses at Laura Ashley for the dominatrix set.

The Danes apologise for 9th Century Viking raids on Ireland.

Don’t hold yer breath waiting for British apologies.

My son has this idiotic book about emotions featuring crummy drawings of people looking, "happy", "sad", "worried" etc. When I first read about the "Behavior Detection Officers" in the employ of TSA, I got this incredible mental image of people with badges about their necks sitting in a darkened room watching as slides flashed on a screen denoting "happy", "sad", and "worried." It was amusing, for a few seconds, until I considered that my imagined training seminar is probably pretty close to reality.

It’s amazing what low-wage workers can be taught to do. I recall many years ago, (I believe the minimum wage was around three and a half dollars an hour) working in a grocery store where we were instructed on techniques to apprehend shoplifters. We were to be on the lookout for friendly old age pensioners in overcoats as they were notorious for slipping small tins into their pockets whilst engaging in pleasantries. I remember quite clearly the point that the aged were to be considered suspect at all times and particularly so if the little blue-haired ladies didn’t make eye contact as they asked why we no longer carried Sen Sen. Criminals! Every last one.

Unlike the (I’m sure) "highly trained" Behavior Detection Officers, I was pretty loath to chase old folks down the street demanding they hand over the devilled crabmeat. I’ve never been a very good employee in that way I’m afraid. I watched co-workers chase people over a packet of cigarettes (which was about .55 cents back then) because in their delusion there was this belief that it would lead to promotion. Those sorts rarely get promoted as any manger worth their managerial stuff understand that chasing a thief, or ratting out a co-worker for minor screw-ups likely puts their own bum on the line.

I suspect that announcing all of this is designed to discourage complaints at the airport in those times when, for example, you’ve been kept on a runway for seven hours or more. They’re watching you. Get a bit irritated and you could miss your flight, be arrested, hell-you could be disappeared for all the Constitutional protections you still have in place. Foreigner? Oh yeah, they’re really watching you. Were the goal of this programme truly to find potentially dangerous individuals, they wouldn’t be wasting their time asking grandmothers where they are going. All that time devoted to observing everyone for the slightest askance look, is going to level the field for anyone that actually has nefarious intent. There simply aren’t enough Behaviour Detection Officers to go around.

Instead of having people who are seasoned professionals (like border guards that have learned what to be suspicious of from experience) we’re arming a bunch of minimum wage workers with the equivalent of my son’s storybook to go out there and do complicated behavioural analysis. Yeah, that’s gonna work.

The argument is that these spy cameras will be used by local police to monitor immigration, gangs and smuggling operations. Right. Even if I thought that was an appropriate use of the technology (I do not) it is abundantly clear that they have no such intentions in mind.  The system will be used to chase off homeless people squatting in abandoned buildings, bust people for public urination (a sex crime nowadays-I wish I were kidding) and arrest kids for smoking tea. Maybe monitor those pesky Quakers blathering on about peace and nonviolence stuff.  You know this. I know this. Still, we’re expected to trust that it would never be abused because they have such a sterling record.

It’s one thing when the police respond to complaints from neighbours about prostitution and make an arrest or two, but quite another matter entirely when they place bogus ads on Craigslist seeking to find hookers to arrest. I’m not a lawyer, and I wouldn’t claim to know if this is entrapment in a legal sense-but boy does this ever stink.

The small city of Lincoln apparently has so little for their police force to do that they need to devote investigators to desk duty looking for prostitutes on the Internet. Kind of funny given that but a week ago they were complaining about the budget cuts and how there wouldn’t be enough money to do the routine things police in that town typically do-things like directing traffic after football games.

I understand that the police argue that arresting sex workers is a "quality of life" issue for the community, but I have to think that the greater good would be served taking away their ad-placing budget, and sending Officer Friendly out to Memorial Stadium in a fresh new pair of white traffic-directing-gloves.

Quick, give them more money to import non-existent "crime" from a city 60 miles away.

Interesting idea, but personally, I’d like my Chocolate Anus with nuts.

Don’t ask me if it is a work-safe link. If you’re comfortable with the IT department knowing you were looking at representations of anuses sculpted from chocolate-go ahead and click.

-Thanks to brown rice, miso soup, powerful enemas, and heroin. OK, maybe not the heroin-but the rest is what she’s claiming. I know, "macrobiotics and colonics" sounds a lot nicer. I do really like this quote from the story though: