September 30, 2006
They Are Frankensteining Christ in America | # |
Uncategorized — J.S. (not the Watergate felon) Magruder @ 3:42 am
Hmmm, too bad it turned out to be a Fundie thing because “meet me at the pole” has so much naughty sounding potential. At least this is an improvement over the scenes at some schools where students erect a large cross on school grounds and then nail the names of non-Christian classmates to it. These kids (according to the article) simply prayed for their heathen classmates while testing the limits of separation of church and state.
Anyone know the Gregory Corso poem, “The American Way?”
I can’t read this article without thinking of Corso.
This was an in-your-face act of hatred dressed-up as piety. I’m sure it makes people feel powerful. Maybe they gave away copies of the video-game where you get to kill the people that won’t convert.
September 29, 2006
The Return of Friday Babyblogging | # |
Dannypants — J.S. (not the Watergate felon) Magruder @ 8:42 pm
-Sort of. This blog won’t support photos, so you’ll need to click HERE to see me wee Danny Dumpling.
Amazing how the male of the species always manage to figure out a cup-holder solution (you know it wasn’t a woman that invented those hats that hold beers).
The Blood on My Hands | # |
They Hate Us For Our Freedom — J.S. (not the Watergate felon) Magruder @ 2:06 am
The United States has today become Chile, circa 1974. God forgive us.
For the sake of their re-elections, the House of Representatives and Senate of the United States have voted to have human beings disappeared. Our elected voices in Washington, representing constituents.
Today, we became “Good Germans.” We cannot claim we didn’t know. We knew. We were too busy/distracted/self-absorbed to speak out. It’s too soon-we still don’t care-maybe we never will.
The repression and death squads we have financed and trained for years to carry out their horrors in other nations will now operate with legal standing and the blessings of the Congress of the United States. Our elected representatives-representing us. You. I. And our bloodied hands.
Tell the mothers whose children we torture how it was for our “protection.” Our barbarism politely worded in legislation.
Today the United States opened our arms wide and embraced the vilest, most horrific acts of violence human beings are capable of, and voted it law.
God forgive us? Our unacknowledged sins? Our complicity?
Me. I’m responsible for this. I’m the torturer. I’m the military tribunal. I’m the taxpayer financing it. I’m the jailer. I’m the rendition pilot. I’m the CIA. Me. I killed the Constitution. The Magna Carta. English Civil Law. Democracy. Because I was busy/distracted/disinterested/comfortable.
I don’t dare to seek God’s mercy for these sins.
September 28, 2006
ADHD In Families | # |
Fake Science — J.S. (not the Watergate felon) Magruder @ 9:48 pm
Oh my goodness-that’s positively shocking! Really. I cannot imagine a situation where parents that are currently taking psychiatric medication will have children taking it as well. Sort of like the imbeciles that go on a low-fat diet and make their three year olds drink skim milk for fear of them “getting fat.” Ah well, good enough for Mummy, must be good for growing children. Really, I’m convinced it’s the same mentality.
Not to discount the opportunist factor of the prescribing doctor. I mean, you convince someone they have a non-existent problem, it isn’t that difficult to sell the idea that it is hereditary (again, not based on any actual “science”). Hell, why treat one person when you can make a buck off the entire family.
Before we got rid of the television, I recall the advertisements that ran “helping” adults to recognise signs of their ADHD “illness.” Now, that inability to concentrate wouldn’t have anything to do with being overextended, sleep deprived, fed a steady diet of food lacking nutritional value, or any other easily explained set of circumstances. Oh no, the person is “ill” with a “real illness” so off you go now to your doctor demanding a prescription for the latest fashionable fix for poor habits. Concentration is a learned behaviour. In order to do it successfully though, it means giving other things (like television, too many activities, etc.) up so that one’s attention may be more focused and devoted to the task at hand. Really-Buddhist monks have been doing it for years! You never hear of Buddhist monks with ADHD, do you?
Yeah, but all that meditating, fasting and chanting is such a drag-I mean, I like the fancy yoga clothes made from organic cotton, and the table-top waterfalls and stuff, but I really don’t have the time for all that, and besides, I’m too out of shape to sit in a lotus position and do zazen…I’ll just take the pill-thanks. But hey, I still like to read about it…I have a subscription to Shambala Sun. Thich Nhat Hahn and those guys…very Zen…
Testing For ASBO-Before Birth | # |
Fake Science — J.S. (not the Watergate felon) Magruder @ 9:21 pm
Ah, well the Scots know a thing or two about “anti-social-behaviour” (What? Well it’s true-ask anybody) so I guess it follows that they’d be on the cutting edge of developing a test to detect it…before the child is even born.
Yeah, I know-sounds like a hell of a whopper, doesn’t it?
Granted, the article is a bit hysterical, and the lead researcher actually posts some comments in the thread claiming his research has been misrepresented-however, what does not seem open to dispute is that it is terribly weak science.
Oh, of course the test will be administered disproportionately to low-income women-no need to waste energy screaming about that. I mean, it’s just one more weapon in the Stick-It-To-The-Proles bag of tricks that diverts attention away from the really criminal activities like screwing people out of their pensions, sending children off to kill and die in wars for the rich and…well you know, insert my standard pinko rant____________.
Oh, but the (hee, hee) “science” behind this test of how well a mother will potentially “bond” with her child. Yes well, I’m sure it isn’t at all culturally subjective because I’m sure the researchers took into account that some cultures are more demonstrative than others. Yeah, well anyway, I’m sure they noted that somewhere. Just recently, I read an anecdote about how Amish mothers are not very demonstrative with hugs and kisses but instead show their love with a cherry pie, or other baked goods (sounds good to me).
Some time ago, I read in a comment thread someone bragging about how “early intervention” (that’s code for “send in the social workers to poor folks”) saved (well, I’m sure they meant literally, even though that’s pretty unlikely) someone’s sister-in-law from becoming some monstrous-evil-formula-feeding-post-partum-whack-job. It’s true, I read it in a comment thread. The deal was, the SIL went to the OB/GYN and when asked about breast feeding responded that she thought it was “gross” and didn’t want to do it. Apparently, that’s a sign of serious mental illness and the poor pregnant woman was carted off (the family held an “intervention” you know, where they threaten the person with commitment if they don’t “voluntarily” consent to “treatment”) and “cured” (read-forced to breastfeed and given psychiatric “treatment” (can’t recall if it was meds or talk). Apparently, the only thing keeping the poor woman from becoming Vlad the Impaler was the intervention of family, psychiatrists and lactation consultants.
Amazing how much public policy (all across the globe) gets determined by such utterly fake science. *dripping sarcasm* Gee, I wonder why that i$?
*there’s also a fun bit of anti-Americanism going on at the end of the article-though really, anyone using that God awful expression about "the other side of the pond" is asking for it.
Glitches | # |
Uncategorized — J.S. (not the Watergate felon) Magruder @ 7:57 pm
Somehow I had comment moderation turned on-but only for some posts?! Sorry about that-I think all the comments awaiting posting are up now-but I still don’t know what caused it.
Medical Experiments on Prisoners | # |
Uncategorized — J.S. (not the Watergate felon) Magruder @ 3:02 am
I’ve written about this quite a bit in the past, but nothing I could say would come close to THIS excellent article by Silja J.A. Talvi at In These Times.
For my part, I have always felt that there is something particularly awful in the suggestion that by participating in drug trials, prisoners are being given an opportunity. Everyone knows this is a blatant lie, yet listen to people trying to defend the gruesome practise-as though some wonderful gift is being bestowed upon people who really don’t deserve it.
We view the incarcerated as less than human. This week, an inmate in Nebraska is suing the state for being kept in solitary confinement for thirteen years. On the radio, and in letters to the editor, we hear over and over how this is considered appropriate treatment of prisoners. I’m sure, if we conducted a poll, there would be widespread local support for subjecting him without consent to any and all medical experiments. We imprison people for behaviour we consider violent and anti-social, yet feel not the slightest discomfort at suggesting we permit violence be returned in kind.
Suggesting that an inmate can offer "consent" to participate in medical experiments is completely dishonest. There’s an unequal power relationship at play that again-everyone knows, and must go to elaborate lengths to try and justify as they understand there is no justification. It will always sound shallow and unconvincing because it is wrong.
Protest at US Capitol | # |
Swords Into Ploughshares — J.S. (not the Watergate felon) Magruder @ 2:44 am
Thank God for the Jonah House people! I know THIS won’t get any mainstream media attention, though if you feel inclined to post about it at your blogs and sites, it wouldn’t hurt. You’d think 71 people being arrested at the US capitol would at least get a few seconds of news coverage, but between a school shooting (awful, of course but likely not worth the media attention) and a football player who (allegedly) can’t read dosage instructions on a bottle of painkillers-there just isn’t enough time to devote to people practising non-violent resistance.
September 27, 2006
Measuring-Up | # |
As Seen From the Armchair — J.S. (not the Watergate felon) Magruder @ 4:23 pm
One of the hazards I’ve encountered writing this blog is a tendency towards unrealistic expectations. I’m just relaying information here-the outrage and what you do with it is none of my concern. Most days, I’m likely restating the obvious, at best. While I’d be the first to insist no one ought to draw another’s conclusions-why do I feel so disgusted when people I have decided ought to “know better” fail to measure-up to the standards I’ve set for them? It’s as though I keep some sort of scale in mind where no one is ever quite left enough to satisfy what I expect from them. You know it’s out of hand when you start wishing Chomsky would stop being so “moderate.”
Of course, what a person writes is only a small bit of their thoughts, often constrained by editorial considerations. Even with a blog, there still needs to be a respect for length-most readers are looking for “posts” not manifestoes. Realising this, I try to balance my posts between fist-waving and silliness about my family. While I feel guilty devoting the space to such light-hearted posts when there is very real horror taking place at any given moment-I do not wish to lose sight of the delight I derive from spending my days with the most wonderful child in the world (yeah well, I’m biased). That said, why do I feel so appalled when others devote space to writing about things I consider trivial? Probably, because I’m an asshole. All right, I’m an asshole. Double-standard, double-standard.
Drawing attention to abject stupidity is one thing (Rainbow Rowell, anyone?) but taking exception and attacking others for failing to measure-up to my absurd standards of “lefty-ness” is a waste of energy-that sort of thing shouldn’t be devoted to those that I actually find myself in ideological agreement with. There’s also a very strong, “Well, who the fuck do you think you are?” quality to it, which given the meagre number of hits this blog gets in a week, answers the question pretty easily. As stated above, I’m an asshole.
I’m not saying it will be easy to read posts where the biggest problem someone has to deal with is_____________see, I’m doing it again already! I was about to link a post where someone complains of something I’ve deemed silly. Old habits do indeed die hard, eh? Honestly, there’s a bit of envy at play as well. While I realise that what someone posts about their inability to hire a suitable nanny may well neglect to mention their difficulty paying for help, and all the sacrifices they make to afford household staff-my knee-jerk reaction will always be, “fucking bourgeoisie.” Not fair, I know. As already twice previously stated, I’m an asshole. And I very likely begrudge them their comforts, even when claiming I do not. “Why, I’d never tell someone what to do with their own money…” but of course, I would, and frequently, do. On that score, I’m no better than the middle-class clucking their tongues at how the poor feed their children.
I’m sure I fail to measure-up to many a standard myself.
Reading Between the Lines | # |
Police State — J.S. (not the Watergate felon) Magruder @ 3:13 am
Just because someone calls it a "gaffe" dosen’t mean it isn’t true. So when an Air Force Seceretary says he wants to try out his Buck Rogers beam on Americans first, I knew right away which Americans he had it in mind to microwave.
Of course this technology will be used. It’s just one more "non-lethal" weapon (like those rubber bullets that are not supposed to kill, but strangely, keep doing so anyway) for police to dress-up and play with in their SWAT paramillitary war games raids. Demonstrators, terrorists, what the hell’s the difference, right?
Right now, at this very moment, our elected government is trying to devise ways to imprison and torture people, suspend Habeas Corpus, and do away with every basic principle in English common law dating back to the Magna Carta. Do you really believe they are somehow above using these vile weapons on human beings? It makes little difference if these weapons are used at home or abroad-they are sadistic and horrific and it disgusts me that we do not have a decent enough society that such weapons would be immediately outlawed.
It bears repeating-these horrors would not take place were we not collectively tolerating them. God forgive us.
Clostridium-difficile Disease Associated With Some Antacids | # |
Uncategorized — J.S. (not the Watergate felon) Magruder @ 2:40 am
It is getting to the point where you’d have to be out of your mind to consider taking a medication that has been on the market for less than twenty years. I know the manufacturers have an interest in rushing these drugs to market, but is it outrageous to expect a bit of government oversight when it comes to actually testing and studying these drugs before selling them to unsuspecting consumers? When these “new” antacids hit the market, they were touted as extremely safe, and more effective (or expensive anyway) than the chewable tablets one can purchase over the counter. Suddenly, everyone was being diagnosed with horrible, debilitating heartburn-but it wasn’t enough to call it heartburn, so they re-named it “reflux” (sounds so much nicer than “vomit and acid backwash in your mouth when you lie down”). So OK, they insist, it’s serious.
Now I believe that for some people, serious heartburn can be really bloody miserable. Hell, when I was pregnant I had to sleep propped-up on four pillows just to keep the acid/puke from washing back clear to my nostrils. For the people that live with that day in, day out-hell yes-give ‘em all the antacid they want. But the rest of us, (and you know they were thinking of us in those advertisements that suggested taking the drugs “before you know you will have heartburn” because only people planning to eat a bacon double cheeseburger whilst navigating rush-hour traffic, juggling a cell-phone call, and trying to light a cigarette-well, they’re really the ones planning to have heartburn. I don’t know, do you get up in the morning and say, “Oh, I better take an antacid, I’m planning to eat all kinds of crap, really quickly today”) it’s being given license to binge.
Now, a bit of baking soda in a glass of water may have certain side-effects, but as far as I know (and I sort of suspect there would be tons of medical literature were this the case) it won’t case recurrent, “sometimes fatal” diarrhoea. Of course, baking soda is .50 cents a box, and that isn’t going to make money for pharmaceutical companies.
SWAT Raid in NY State over 60 Buck’s Worth of Dope | # |
Police State — J.S. (not the Watergate felon) Magruder @ 1:57 am
Well, I know I’m sleeping better knowing that such dangerous criminals are being kept off the streets. I’m sure the eleven year old kid that woke to find the cops with weapons drawn standing over his bed (before they beat the crap out of him)will grow-up to respect fear authority.
Nice touch, killing the family pet in the process.
September 26, 2006
Oh, Yuck | # |
Romanticised Pastoral — J.S. (not the Watergate felon) Magruder @ 4:25 pm
That bat must have been pretty wired by the time it drowned, though.
Ah, country living.
Mr. Methane | # |
Uncategorized — J.S. (not the Watergate felon) Magruder @ 2:39 am
You haven’t lived until you’ve heard someone fart the "Blue Danube."
Via Buddha Kenji
September 25, 2006
More About My Broken Toe | # |
Ask the Anthropologist — J.S. (not the Watergate felon) Magruder @ 8:00 pm
So much for my insistence that I’m not the sort of anthropologist that thinks they can set their own broken bones. It was, actually a pretty simple matter, save for the pain. For the next few weeks I’ll be stumbling about with my broken toe held in place by being taped to the adjoining toe. Care to be grossed-out? I could feel the broken bone wriggling about as I tried setting it. Look, it’s a pinkie toe-we’re not talking about a hip or anything likely to cripple me. If the swelling or numbness gets much worse, I promise to consult a doctor (who will, in all likelihood do exactly as I have done, for considerably more than the cost of gauze and tape). What the heck, might as well put all those anatomy classes to use…
As it happens, we were due to have out-of town guests next week, and this injury would have been a major inconvenience to entertaining. Luckily for us (though, really, terribly unfortunate for them) a mysteriously acquired case of body-lice will be keeping them home. I told L. that I’m sending them a “Cootie” game and a box of toilet seat liners for Christmas this year. Needless to say, I’m glad they discovered this (and folks, here’s where it’s really nice to have a microscope at home-you can prepare a slide and diagnose your own body critters) and are seeking appropriate treatment-at home. 1700 miles away. And not in my house. You know, I’ve worked with homeless populations and it was always something I was prepared to deal with but thankfully (knock wood) never had to. Anyway, I don’t need to be on my feet cooking and cleaning and entertaining next week, and can instead rest my poor mangled toe. So much for the theory that the wealthy don’t get lice.
Funny, how one scarcely realises how much we use our toes until they are injured. I am unable to keep a backless slipper on my foot as it relies on a certain amount of toe-curling gripping to stay in place (much like flip-flops). The broken toe is hampering my balance as well. While it is at the moment, less painful to stand (provided I don’t try to apply weight to the toe) than sitting with it elevated, I know that the latter is optimal. Try convincing a toddler of that. My little guy thinks Mummy has devised a new game of “pull the pillow out from under her leg.” Well, if nothing else, I can recognise a lost cause, so I’m off now to drag my lame toe into the kitchen and start making dinner.
Label Them Young | # |
Fake Science — J.S. (not the Watergate felon) Magruder @ 3:16 am
I read something Friday that really left me feeling sick and sad all weekend. One of the parenting message boards I used to frequent (before realising that one of the women that monopolises the board is a lying sack –of- shit- troll-but that’s another post) has now officially reached the deep-end. For the first time in months, I logged on-really just to see what other people are feeding their children (as ours are all about the same age) and there was the most depressing post by a mother that is convinced her 21 month old child has “ADHD.” Because she’s convinced of this, she’s limiting certain fruits and vegetables because she read something that some quack posted on the internet indicating they cause a “disease” that may not even exist in the first place. And no, I’m not going to link the post even though it’s on a public board and she posted it there for all the world to see.
The behaviours this mother described were pretty much what one would expect from ANY 21 month old child. Not listening, pulling away, not sitting still, tantrums. My God, that’s not an illness, that’s just childhood. That’s what toddlers do.
Now what psychologists do is find problems. You don’t take your child to a brain person and get told, “Hey, she’s fine take her home and let her play.” That’s because it is an industry-one that worried parents will fork over large sums of money to in hopes that they can “fix” the child that somehow does not measure up to expectations. For their dollar, parents expect some sort of “diagnosis” excusing the misbehaviour as “medical” and therefore not bearing any responsibility. Once you establish this brain nonsense within the family as a commonplace activity-it’s a lifelong activity-like a cult. While it’s certainly appealing to think that any and all behaviours can be easily categorised and diagnosed and fit neatly into predictable patterns-the range of human behaviours are never quite as simple as the brain people would have it. There is no science to back it up. You cannot test it empirically in a laboratory. Yet, we force people to be subjected to it. Insurance pays for it. Try getting your insurance to pay for a chiropractor and listen to the accusations of quackery fly. But should you wish to have shocks to the brain, or powerful mind-altering drugs administered in the confines of a locked bughouse-then simply submit the proper form.
I suppose it shouldn’t be surprising that people who accept the psychiatric model will subject their children to it for the tiniest infraction-if memory serves me correctly this particular woman was always describing her spouse in terms of being “depressed” passive-aggressive” and the like. I don’t know about you, but if my spouse ever accused me of being “passive aggressive” and had the chutzpah to post it on a public message board-that’d be it for me. Then again, I’ve never understood how people can ever speak to family or friends again after they have an “intervention” and all but kidnap the poor unsuspecting individual and force them into treatment (that they of course “voluntarily” sign themselves into under pretty obvious duress). You know, people who are concerned for the well being of others don’t force them to do anything. The audacity to believe that one can do something for another’s “own good.” Really, I wouldn’t stand for it-I’d never speak to those individuals again. Anyway, about a year ago this woman sent me an email out of the blue trying to elicit gossip from me about someone-it was the most pathetic thing. If you’re going to do that-at least try to be subtle. I certainly had no qualms pointing out the troll-it’s not like I have any secrets-but to engage in idle malicious gossip isn’t my style. I politely told her to have a nice day, but it still really irritated me that people are so willing to put that degree of time and effort into mind fucking one another. And, as it appears, their children.
So sad.
Police Violence | # |
Police State — J.S. (not the Watergate felon) Magruder @ 2:03 am
I don’t post a lot of articles with instructions to “go read” but I will make an exception for THIS one. What the hell was going through a police officer’s mind when he held a gun to a seven year old’s head and threatened to shoot during a traffic stop? The only thing the mother was ticketed for was an expired insurance card. No guns, no drugs, no out-of-control driving. There’s hundreds of comments following the article that really illustrate how awful it is for blacks in the United States when dealing with the cops. This was by no means an isolated incident. And why on earth hasn’t the officer in question been suspended pending an inquiry?
And they want to give the police MORE power to knock down doors without warrants, to carry paramilitary weapons, organise SWAT responses? Oh yeah, better weapons and less responsibility-that’ll be a good combination because we all know the cops never abuse their power and always follow procedure-like holding a gun to a seven year old girl’s head and threatening to blow her brains out if she cried.
So to sum-up
They can knock down your door without knocking first, without a warrant and if they kill anyone, well, too bloody bad.
You’re not safe in your car either.
Got it?
American Tourism to Canada | # |
Canada — J.S. (not the Watergate felon) Magruder @ 1:40 am
If you’re not a funny person, it’s best to avoid trying to write funny pieces. THIS piece of nonsense by Lynn Crosbie in today’s Globe and Mail is, well, stupid. The attempt at national self deprecating humour is really pretty inane-God knows, no one’s ever heard jokes about hockey or the weather in Canada. “Ah-boot?” Oh, ha-ha-ha, the Americans always want to hear them say ah-boot like we can’t hear the same damn pronunciation in Detroit (it’s true-people in Detroit sound more stereotypically Canadian than the Canadians). Like I’ve never been asked to say “park the car in Harvard yard.” Ha-ha-ha, isn’t that hilarious, a regional accent.
The sad truth is, American simply are not taking holidays-anywhere. Paid vacation time is a thing of the past and those who are still in the employ of old fashioned companies that provide two weeks a year, expect the time to be taken broken-up and with the caveat that work will be brought along to the destination to be completed. Most people I know use their “vacation days” to deal with their children coming down with the flu and needing to stay home with them. A recreational holiday is simply out of reach for most Americans these days.
Incidentally, I was wearing a lovely pair of shoes today from Armstrong and Richardson purchased many, many years ago on a trip to Ottawa. Very likely, the finest pair of shoes I’ve ever owned. Certainly much nicer than anything I could purchase at home (at least on my budget). I kicked them off once inside and then promptly ran into the chair that broke my toe. If only I’d worn them a moment longer…
I Broke My Toe | # |
Uncategorized — J.S. (not the Watergate felon) Magruder @ 12:39 am
Arrggh! Serves me right, after all, I was the one that insisted upon purchasing the heavy, wooden high-chair. Granted, I never expected to be slamming my pinkie toe into it at a full-run, but then these things are so difficult to anticipate. It’s broken-and rapidly turning black. Great. Given that I have almost no feeling in my feet on an ordinary day, I should probably be mildly pleased that I can actually feel anything. Years ago, when all this “stuff” started happening, my physician at the time recommended I do a nightly “foot check.”
“For what?” I asked.
“Well you know those little flag pins people wear on their lapels with the short spikes on the back?”
Turned out she had a patient that walked around for quite some time with a pin stuck to the bottom of her foot. I’m supposed to wear slippers at all times-I know better, just went to run for the phone and well-here I am with a broken toe. This is the third time I’ve managed to do this in the last ten years or so. I’m working this injury for all it is worth and L. is making dinner-macaroni and cheese from a box! Well. I’m infirm you know, I need to keep my strength up so the toe heals properly. I need those starchy, refined carbohydrate laden calories. Do you know what makes boxed macaroni taste even better? Omit the milk and use ¾ stick of butter in it’s place. Really, it’s quite good. Served with a scoop of cottage cheese. What? You don’t eat your boxed macaroni with a scoop of cottage cheese? What sort of freaks are you people? Next you’re going to insist you don’t top your scoop of cottage cheese with a dollop of sour cream. Anyway, I’m off my feet this evening.
September 23, 2006
Ow! | # |
Uncategorized, Dannypants — J.S. (not the Watergate felon) Magruder @ 10:39 pm
I knew something was up when Danny appeared at the kitchen door holding his arm. He’d been sent to his room for misbehaviour but somehow the fact that he was holding his arm and crying worried me. I wriggled the wrist and arm and everything moved fine until I tried to bend the arm up-hysterical tears.
Nursemaid’s elbow. Within fifteen minutes of the very nice emergency room doctor popping it back in place, Danny was fine. Since neither of us had dragged Danny by the arm, we figure he must have fallen whilst trying to grab something (trying to climb the changing table again, perhaps?). To be on the safe side (and to be certain the bill would be appropriately sizeable) they took x-rays, which was awful for Danny-worse than the pain I’m sure. The technician would not let me in because I was of “reproductive age” even after I explained to him that I am actually well past reproductive age and in fact, infertile. Still wouldn’t let me in the room and made L. accompany him instead. I wonder, what do they do with mothers who don’t show up for x-rays with the father? Crying out loud, he could have handed me a lead vest if it was such a big deal. Personally, I think they don’t like dealing with worried mothers.
As ER experiences go, we were in and finished in about an hour-which I consider pretty efficient. I can’t wait to see the bill.
By the time we returned home Danny was swinging his arm about as though nothing had happened. I realised this is just the start. What the hell am I going to do when he starts climbing trees and roller-skating? Driving?
I did learn that you can take two large stickers and place a tongue depressor between them to make “lollypop stickers” which it seems the nurses do quite a bit of when it’s slow.
September 22, 2006
Nostalgia | # |
Uncategorized — J.S. (not the Watergate felon) Magruder @ 1:58 am
Danny has been in my record collection again. It’s the jackets really, they’re so colourful-he just loves them-and just about any sort of music will please him. I finished washing-up the dinner dishes and found father and son rocking-out to a Partridge Family record circa 1973. Funny, how many of those songs were hits and subsequently, through the years have been used as advertising to sell everything from cereal to automobiles.
While I can only claim to have seen the show once or twice, I did have a mad crush on David Cassidy. Well like, who didn’t (under the age of sixteen of course)? David Cassidy had long hair-sort of, without being a filthy hippie, which made him acceptable in the eyes of parents while still cool to pre-teen girls.
Mind you, I haven’t looked at that record since the early 1970’s and while I expected it to be a bit lame, the promotion for the “Fan Club” on the back cover was really excessively lame-even by 70’s standards. My husband remembers this kind of crap on cereal boxes, however he’s seven years my senior and while that doesn’t sound like much, in terms of pop culture it’s pretty vast. So for your amusement, I’m going to transcribe it here.
GREATEST OFFER EVER!
Right Now!
Be a member of the
PARTRIDGE FAMILY FAN CLUB!
Get your own GIANT PARTRIDGE KIT which includes…
SUPER-SPECIAL 45 RPM RECORD! Secret messages from David, Susan, and all the Partridges! COMPLETE BOOK! PRIVATE LIVES OF THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY! PARTRIDGE MINI-POSTER! AUTOGRAPHED PORTRAITS OF EACH STAR! PARTRIDGE STICKERS! Dozens of personal stickers for your letters, mirrors, notebooks. AUTOGRAPHED WALLET SIZED PHOTOS of every cast member! OFFICIAL PARTRIDGE FAMILY MEMBERSHIP CARD! GROOVY STUFFER letting you in on all the exclusive Partridge surprises in store for you! SECRET DECODER which will allow you to decode messages from fan club columns. EXTRA BONUS SPECIAL! EXCITING ALL NEW HOLLYWOOD STAR ADDRESS LIST revealing where to personally write to all the Partridge family. DON’T WAIT, JOIN TODAY! Send your name and address plus $2.00 to Partridge Family Fan Club, Dept. R-2, 6311 Yucca Street, Hollywood, Calif. 90028 Add .25 cents for rush handling.
Gee whiz, they used more exclamation points than posters on an I-Village message board. I’m sorry I missed-out on the decoder ring though, that’d been cool. I wonder what the secret messages from David would have been? My elder sister insists that I used to kiss his poster goodnight and say, “Shhh, I’m not supposed to have boys in my room” but I think she made that up. She was sort of a weird girl anyway, instead of the typical teenie-bopper crap on her bedroom wall she had a picture of (I swear I’m not making this up) Sebastian Cabot (the actor, not the Newfoundland explorer. You know, “Mr. French” aka “The Butler on Family Affair” aka, “The guy in the Jell-O Commercials.” So I ask you, David Cassidy or Sebastian Cabot? Right, that’s what I thought. I think our parents sent the wrong child to the psychiatrist.
September 21, 2006
Stuff You May Have Missed | # |
Uncategorized — J.S. (not the Watergate felon) Magruder @ 9:29 pm
Here Goes:
Department of "No Fucking Kidding"
Cheap Books by post
Winston loved Big Brother
Make your own tortilla chips (fire extinguisher not included)
Time to stock-up on red dal and mung beans (Which I did, last weekend)
NIH in Britain placing restrictions on how fat a woman can be to get infertility treatments
Women who were forcibly sterilised via eugenics programmes in the United States speak out
A helpful resource for people with food allergies
Turning the police into immigration officers
Privacy? Ha, Ha, Ha…(This is just plain scary)
Might want to think twice before leaving a stingy tip
Bansky strikes again
Hey Kids-wanna breathe? Well, you’ll have to be drug tested for that as well!
Yeah well, it’s about time HR departments figured THIS out.
Because there isn’t anything more um, you know, important to be dealing with.
A blog about Candy (the sugary stuff, not the Terry Southern book)
"Hey, I only asked the clerk to warm-up my fake penis"
Shame on us.
Don’t Tell the Kansans | # |
Ask the Anthropologist — J.S. (not the Watergate felon) Magruder @ 3:12 am
A pretty cool find of a 3.3 million year old Australopithecus in Northern Ethiopia today. The archaeologist seemed surprised that it took so long to complete the excavation.
“He did not know it would take thousands of hours, working with dental instruments, to free the fossil from the sandstone.”
Yes, well, that’s what happens when you (as we like to say in the trade) “Louis Leaky it to death.” Used correctly in a sentence:
“Hey, we’re on a deadline here, quit Louis Leaky-ing the thing to death and just excavate it.”
Remember those National Geographic specials (cue the soundtrack-“Ba-Ba-ba- BOM-BOM”) where we’d see old Louie with a paintbrush and a trowel giving a fossil a slight nudge, then a careful brushing, maybe blow on it, back to the trowel for a bit, wipes it with a small sponge, again with the paintbrush, half a centimetre at a time, on and on. Now Mary-well she’d get in there with a backhoe and start tearing up a site until Louie had to put his foot down. She’d already lost the lower body of ER1470 in one of her impatient romps through the Rift Valley.
September 20, 2006
Parenting Advice From Antonio Gramsci | # |
When the Revolution Comes — J.S. (not the Watergate felon) Magruder @ 4:20 am
In the life of children there are two very clear-cut phases, before and after puberty. Before puberty the child’s personality has not yet formed and it is easier to guide its life and make it acquire specific habits of order, discipline, and work: after puberty the personality develops impetuously and all extraneous intervention becomes odious, tyrannical, insufferable. Now it so happens that parents feel the responsibility towards their children precisely during this second period, when it is too late: then of course the stick and violence enter the scene and yield very few results indeed. Why not instead take an interest in the child during the first period?
Like a Pirate | # |
They Hate Us For Our Freedom — J.S. (not the Watergate felon) Magruder @ 3:48 am
Did you know that today was international “speak like a pirate day?” Something to do with a film about pirates and ninjas (perhaps along the lines of the day I walked into a shared-office to find two of my colleagues in heated debate only to discover their intelligent sounding argument had to do with who’s cooler, a Viking or a Klingon). Anyway, “Arrrrhhh mateys, I disemboweled me self scratching me arse with the hook again…Garrrrrr.” (yeah, spell-check loved that last sentence).
So as I listened to Dear Leader’s address to the UN today, I had two thoughts:
1. When he does that bit of speaking “directly to the people” of other countries, does anyone think that people in Iran are sitting there going, “Oh, well it’s not personal –ok, give us some American “democracy” please!” Yeah, I didn’t think so either.
2. Why couldn’t he have given the speech, like a pirate? I mean, it’s not like he’d be any less intelligible.
Sure, I could point out all the absurdities, but I’m sure everyone had enough of the urge to wretch hearing it once-why revisit it? I do wonder for whom the speech was given. Since it pretty clearly isn’t the world community. Maybe it was that 31% of US voters that still give him a positive approval rating.
But the peoples of Afghanistan and Iraq are free today because we brought them freedom. Sort of. At least we got rid of their “really bad dictators” ™ so that the rule of law can prevail, even if there are 14,000 prisoners being held in US custody without charges. You know, except for that Habeas Corpus stuff (Which is sooo totally English anyway, it’s from England you know. We freed ourselves from England, and we’re freeing ourselves from their legal system. I mean, if a king president king wants to have you declared an “enemy of freedom”™ and disappeared, do you really think we should be asking the English for permission first? I mean, like Dear Leader said back in the early days of the “War on “Terrrr” ™ “The US will never seek a permission slip to defend itself” so fuck you United Nations, and fuck you English common law.
Admit it, you wanted to hear him say it as a pirate too.
